Dealing with Anger

Folks,
I'm wondering if I'm alone in this. When I'm angry, I can't express myself. I tend to cry!

This is SO unhelpful when I'm trying to make a point. I lose my credibility and I make the other person just want to get away rather than work things out with me.

I've been angry with doctors lately, too... and the last thing I want to do is end up crying in the doctor's office. I've got an appointment this week and I'm going to have to try to emphasize how bad my asthma gets when I go to visit my parents and am around their six cats. This new doc gave me a few meds and said, "You won't need prednisone" and is refusing to give me a script. Well, I HOPE I won't need it... it'd be a miracle if I don't, frankly.

So, all I've got to do is just make a point. When I feel strongly about anything, I end up crying.

I'll read books you have to recommend about this, I'll look into therapies you suggest... just give me something to go on and tell me if you've ever been there, done that! I feel pretty alone on this one.

I wonder if it's the brain fog, the fatigue... but frankly, I'm not ready just to chalk it up to depression and say there's nothing I can do about it. In any case, I wonder if it's related to the SAD. Anyone else?

Thanks!

Heather

Hey Heather

It's so frustrating isn't it!!!! When I'm angry and I cry I can't speak and can't stop crying which gets me even angrier! I end up looking like some hysterical freak!

I've noticed as well that I get angrier more often when I'm anxious or depressed. Normally I let everything just float over my head but in winter even the slightest thing (people bumping into me, loud noises)can get me furious! Perhaps I need anger management classes!

Take care of yourself Heather!

Sandy x

I thought I'd start a new post so my response doesn't blend in with what's posted above.

I can't seem to find information on my own about anything but vaginal yeast infections -- which is not the systematic infection we're talking about here.

I'll see if I can get checked. As I understand, it ought to be part of the process for determining if I do have fibromyalgia or not. Fibromyalgia is not a problem you can do a single test for, but you have to rule out a lot of other problems that could be causing the symptoms first. I'll mention it to the rheumatologist and see if it's part of his tests. Thank you for your help, Me.

In the meantime, though, I would love to hear other people's responses, too. If it's not candida albicans, then I suppose it could be related to SAD or Fibromyalgia or just be my lovely personality. ;)

Sandy - you're so right... lately, I've been telling mom that I'm angry at every little thing. Wanted to rip off the deli clerk's head the other day because he closed down the seafood counter early and I REALLY wanted my salmon! My thoughts were:

"Geez, he's lazy! The guy who normally runs the fish counter would take better care of me. That fish is just under a bit of paper -- they didn't even put it away in the back yet!"

Then, I thought, "He has no idea how hard it is for me to make a trip to the grocery store! I walk everywhere I go, and I've been hurting so much with the fibromyalgia and the cold weather. It's really not fair."

I wanted to go to the manager because they really never do close down the seafood counter that early... but I didn't have the energy to bother going to the manager.

So, I don't know if I blew it out of proportion, but I wanted to cry because I was angry and frustrated and it's been hard for me to get out and do my shopping lately.

I'm usually not an angry person... one other time when I got this quick-tempered was when I learned that my blood pressure was at a point that I had to be medicated for it. The docs have only said it's been "slightly elevated" lately... but then I've had anxieties about dealing with doctors because of the fibromyalgia misdiagnosis and how much pain I was in when the doc found trigger points. I don't want a doctor to cause me to hurt that badly again in the exam, so my blood pressure jumps before an exam. Go figure!

Amalthea

Try 'Candida Albicans' (candida for short)

Me x

Amalthea, what I'm saying will sound harsh, but I mean it in the kindest way.

You have mentioned lots of times that your parents have 6 cats and that this is a major problem for your asthma. Maybe it's time to get assertive (in a positive, firm, kind way, not aggressive and unpleasant) and address the problem.

As I see it there are various ways and probably some that other members could suggest that I haven't thought of. The following points came to me.

1. Don't visit your parents house if it's a problem. Either have them visit you or meet somewhere nearer to their home if they can't get to you.

2. DO they realise how much distress the cats are causing you? I don't think that I would keep pets that were causing my children such a problem.

3. Your health is the most important thing to you. If they need your help at all, you won't be any good to them if you aren't in good health.

Someone I knew used to get very upset going to her parents house. I encouraged her to be assertive about the situation and she improved it for the better by addressing the problem. THe parents (specifically the mother) used to upset her by putting her down all the time. She felt that she had to visit because they 'needed' her to. In the end she was polite and assertive about the situation, telling them that unless they stopped treating her like that then she felt unable to continue visiting.

Guess what? They started to be kind to her and appreciate her for the lovely person that she is! They decided that it was better than missing out on the weekly visits.

I know this isn't the same sort of situation, but I'm sure you feel unhappy about visiting because of the discomfort it causes you. I'm only mildly allergic to just some cats and I know how uncomfortable it can be. FUll blown asthma must be really difficult. I would imagine that even if the cats aren't there, the fact that they've been there is a problem.

Maybe I've said enough.

It's not being a non-driver that is bad for your health, that is obviously very good for your health, you said you felt the benefits.

It's the animals that affect your health. I know you say that a hotel room can't be afforded, but I don't think you can afford to keep visiting the cat household, as it impacts on your health so much, especially if your doc won't prescribe the meds you need to help.

Enough!

I suppose your head is telling you that you can cope with the situation as it is. Because if you couldnt cope, you would most certainly do something about it.

I suppose its the 'age ole story' - reach rock bottom before doing something about it. Really chuffed to hear that you have not reached that stage yet... If you do reach rock bottom Im sure that your brain will tell you exactly how to solve the problem, and you will act on it too. As we all strive to feel better. But do you really want to wait that long!

I suppose sometimes we have to think of ourselves first, but as we are so sensitive we automatically regard other peoples feelings to be more important. You will find a way when the time is right flower.



Hugs

Me x